Cats have a reputation for being independent, aloof creatures who don’t really care what we’re doing—unless we’re holding a treat. But for anyone who’s come home to a headbutt, a slow blink, or a quiet meow, it’s clear that cats do notice when we’re gone.
So, do they actually miss us when we leave?
The short answer is yes. But like most things with cats, the signs are subtle—and their needs are easy to overlook if you don’t know what to watch for.
Cats form real emotional bonds—with us and their environment
Over the last decade, research into feline psychology has shown what many cat parents already suspected: cats form genuine attachments to their humans. A 2019 study from Oregon State University found that 64% of cats formed secure attachments with their owners—very similar to what’s been observed in dogs and even human infants.¹
When we’re around, they feel safe. When we’re gone, they often feel unsettled. But unlike dogs, who may bark, pace, or jump excitedly upon our return, cats express their emotions in quieter, more understated ways.
That doesn’t mean they don’t care. It just means they show it differently.
How do cats react when we’re away?
Every cat responds to absence in their own way. Some sleep more. Others go off their food. Some become clingier when you return, following you from room to room, or “talking” more than usual. And some withdraw entirely.
In some cases, these behaviours are signs of separation anxiety—a condition increasingly recognised by vets. According to the American Veterinary Medical Association (AVMA), cats experiencing separation anxiety may show destructive behaviour, inappropriate elimination, or excessive vocalisation.²
But even in less extreme cases, being left alone without preparation or support can cause real stress—especially in cats who are particularly bonded to their owner or dependent on routine.
Why environment matters just as much as presence
Cats don’t just bond with people. They bond with their environment. Their home is their safe zone, filled with familiar scents, sounds, and routines. That’s why keeping a cat in their own space while you’re away is one of the most effective ways to reduce anxiety.
Dr. Tony Buffington, a veterinary professor and feline stress expert, has described stress in cats as “largely driven by a loss of control over their environment.”³ When that control is taken away—by moving them to a new place, for example—stress levels rise. That can affect their immune system, appetite, and general wellbeing.
Keeping your cat at home, with someone they’ve met and trust, helps maintain that sense of control. It offers familiarity and stability—even in your absence.
How to ease separation stress
If you’re going to be away, there are a few simple things you can do to help your cat feel secure.
Start by choosing an in-home sitter who understands feline behaviour—not just someone who loves animals. A sitter who respects your cat’s pace, body language, and routine can make a big difference. Before the first visit, arrange a short meet-and-greet so your cat knows who to expect. Even if they don’t interact much, the familiarity helps.
Leave behind your cat’s favourite toys, blankets, and sleeping spots untouched. Don’t wash the bedding right before you leave—your scent is comforting. You can also leave a worn t-shirt or hoodie in their bed or hiding spot for extra reassurance.
Daily updates from your sitter—photos, notes, and observations—won’t just reassure you. They’ll help you spot how your cat is doing emotionally, even from a distance.
Do they miss us?
They do. Maybe not in the way we expect—there’s no tail-wagging, no howling at the door—but your absence is felt. Cats may not always show affection loudly, but they notice when the person they rely on, watch from the window, and sleep next to is suddenly gone.
The good news? With thoughtful preparation and a sitter who truly gets cats, your feline companion can feel secure, understood, and cared for—until you're back together again.
References
- Vitale, K. R., Behnke, A. C., Udell, M. A. R. (2019). "Attachment bonds between domestic cats and humans." Current Biology.
- American Veterinary Medical Association (2003) – Separation anxiety syndrome in dogs and cats
- Buffington, C. A. T. (2006). "External and internal influences on disease risk in cats." Journal of the American Veterinary Medical Association